Mindfulness for real estate agents

Emotional management is a crucial factor that is often overlooked. 

Sellbuy or rent a property is a time of great economic and personal stakes for all parties involved: owner, buyer and, of course, for the real estate agent who plays a fundamental role in bringing the property transaction to a successful conclusion.

In this article, we explore how emotions affect real estate agents and how the practice of real estate mindfulness for real estate agents can be a powerful tool to improve their emotional management in this challenging context.

The importance of emotional management for estate agents.

There are many aspects that differentiate and define a good real estate agent: full digital competence, continuous training, capacity for innovation, etc. A whole series of skills and knowledge to offer our clients our best version of ourselves. However, a fundamental aspect that is often neglected is emotional management.

As human beings, we have always defined ourselves as rational beings, but this self-definition leaves out a very important and intrinsic part of ourselves: our emotions. So in reality, an accurate and complete definition is to state that we are emotional beings with the capacity to reason. 

"We are emotional beings with the capacity to reason".

Emotions move the world. They also move real estate agents.

The word "emotion" comes from the Latin emotio-emotionis which is derived from the verb emovereThis indicates that our emotions are what move us; they push us in one direction or another depending on what we experience.

Good emotional management is one in which we are able to observe, identify and accept our emotions so that we can consciously choose our response to the situations we face. When our emotions dominate us, we become impulsive beings unable to respond reflexively. In these cases, we can only react by attacking, running away or becoming paralysed (not knowing what to do or say).

"What matters is not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you". Epictetus 

In addition, we must also consider the role played by our thinking and our interpretation of what we experience. In the words of Epictetus: "What matters is not what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you".

Let's review this chart on basic emotions: if what we think about is considered a danger, we will develop the necessary defence mechanisms to survive that situation. My thinking will connect with primary defence emotions such as fear, anger or sadness, and I will react accordingly even if that threat is not real in most cases. 

Our mind behaves like a monkey jumping from vine to vine between thoughts about the past and the future. This can lead us to connect with limiting emotions. If we anchor ourselves in the past: "I used to be the best salesman...; last year I achieved a great turnover...".We are likely to experience sadness at the loss of situations we believe to be unrepeatable. If we worry too much about the future: "How am I going to invoice in three months' time if I don't have any flats in my portfolio?uncertainty can make us anxious. 

How can an estate agent manage his or her emotions effectively?

In the emotional intelligence courses I teach, I remind my students of an old Nescafé advertisement that invites us to enjoy "a good coffee" to connect with ourselves. 

The drink is the least important thing; the important thing is to give ourselves 5 or 10 minutes a day to observe our thoughts. Observe what you are saying to yourself, your internal dialogue, and find out what situation in your day triggers it. 

If it is a situation that you are experiencing as negative, once you have identified the cause, ask yourself if you are capable of resolving it at that moment. If the answer is yes, take action. If, on the other hand, it is not the right moment, try to put the thought out of your mind and focus on something else so that it does not condition the rest of your day. You will find a way to manage the emotion in due course.

The mindfulnessbeing in the here and now

The mindfulness is a simple technique that helps you to live in the present, to connect mentally with the here and now of your experience and your thoughts. I propose this exercise:

• Look for a place where you can be comfortable and quiet.
• Take a couple of deep breaths and then observe your breathing.
• Observe how you breathe in, how the air travels through your body, and how it travels the opposite way when you exhale.
• Repeat for five minutes and see how you feel after the exercise.
• Don't try to do it right, just do it and give yourself a moment of connection with yourself.

Self-observation is key to understanding your current emotional state. Accept your emotions without rejecting them, and become aware of why you feel this way and what you can do to change it if you wish.

[Bonus track] It connects with a simple but meaningful phrase that I have heard hundreds of times from Víctor Küppers: "In life, the most important thing is that the most important thing is the most important thing".. So act accordingly!