Euphemism (From the Latin euphemismus, and this from the Greek εὐφημισμός euphēmismós.) 1. m. A mild or decorous manifestation of ideas whose straightforward and frank expression would be harsh or rude.
This is the definition of the RAE, which, to tell the truth, is probably unaware of the deep roots of this practice in the real estate sector, since in the most remote times the etymological origin of the word must have been something more like "euphemism" but for some strange reason the N mutated into S...
Our theory is based on empirical evidence that in this world, there is no professional sector with more clichés and euphemisms than the real estate sector.. We leave you with a compilation of the most popular ones. There is something for everyone:
Cosy and charming flatThe word cosy means, hopefully, small, but it's probably "matchbox"; and charming means anything but pretty, because there are different colours for different tastes. A flat for life's optimists!
Close to everything: What is all for the seller? In any case, will it be the same as for the buyer? Enough is enough, there is no housing that can physically be close to all.
Well communicatedThe twin brother of the previous one. It has a bus stop 1km away and several nearby streets. With such a plethora of options, if you stay at home, it's because you want to.
Ready to move inA classic. Even if it has the massive 80's furniture in the living room, the worn terrazzo and the kitchen of Tell me about itYou can cook, you can shower and you can sleep, right? Then it's ready!
LuminousAnother cliché. One day we will understand that a bright flat does not necessarily mean that it gets sun. We know you're not selling a cave, but don't paint it as a solarium either...
Semi-new houseIn other words, it was renovated in the early 2000s and the owners have kept it that way. It doesn't sound very semi-new...
In the earliest times the etymological origin of the word must have been something more like "euphemism" but for some strange reason the N mutated into S...
PenthouseDon't be fooled at first, it can simply be the top floor of a building and have the same rickety terrace as the rest of the neighbours in the block. But the penthouse price will be.
LoftOne of our favourites. A summary with spoilers: when the dining room and kitchen are one space, it is not a loft. When the flat is so small that humanly-physically-physically-square-metres cannot fit a closed room, it is not a loft.
We dedicate this post to the latter two "Loft or penthouse (or neither)?"to dot all the i's and cross all the t's and cross all the t's. You are welcome.
Ideal for investorsYou know that it is generally not for people from the neighbourhood. Be prepared to enter a flat that has been torn to shreds, with so much work and renovation to be carried out that a private individual can't afford it.
Farmhouse type houseAll dwellings with a 2 or 4 pitched roof and a stone clad façade. Even if it was built in 2002. That is the way it is.
Exclusive housingExorbitant price, totally out of the market, waiting for a foreigner loaded with banknotes who falls madly in love with the house, pays in cash and without negotiating. It's nice to dream, we don't deny it.
And a bonus track to top it all off, all around the owner's desire to sell and his most recurrent chicanery:
I am in no hurry to sell: The real translation is: "Let's see if the flute sounds". He wants to sell knowing that the price is way out of the market (even if you warn him). Initially he doesn't mind, but as time goes by and he receives no viewings and no interest, it is not his fault at all but yours, as the agent, that you haven't done your job properly. You have been warned.
I don't want to sell below this price: Imagine a scene from a classic BBC animal documentary. Two species fighting for survival. Frantic string quartet playing in the background. Image in super slow motion. The law of the strongest. Chest thumping as an argument. That is the law of the ruthless salesman.
My neighbour sold his flat for XXXXXX€.Beware of free interpretations of the law of communicating vessels in the immo version, which can lead to disappointment. Even if you live in the same building, there are more variables that affect the price. From the outside, many properties are the same; from the inside, it's a different story...
As you can see, and for everyone's sake, just enough "euphemisms", please. For everything else, Monapart.
We must say things tentatively, yes; but we must be honest, always. Here is a list of the most stale clichés that refuse to die in the sector.
